Each New Year, instead of a resolution, I pick a word of the year as a guiding theme. 2011 was "compassion" and I bookended the year by reading Karen Armstrong's
Twelve Steps to a More Compassionate Life.
Many are familiar with Gandhi's quote that we must, "become the change we wish to see in the world." Armstrong's book offers some practical guidance for how to proceed.
Just as scientists search for a cure for cancer, religious thinkers have advocated for and undertaken a search for compassion.
Using examples from the major faith traditions, Armstong defines and underscores the commonality of humankind's quest for compassion. "All faiths insist that compassion is the test of true spirituality and that it brings us into relations with the transcendence we call God, Nirvana, or Dao."
To be compassionate is to treat others as you would be treated yourself and, to go a step further, to see others as if they were yourself.
"So compassion means 'to endure' [something] with another person, to feel her pain as though it were our own, and to enter generously into his point of view. That is why compassion is aptly summed up in the Golden Rule, which asks us to look into our own hearts, discover what gives us pain, and then refuse, under any circumstance whatsoever, to inflict that pain on anybody else. Compassion can be defined therefore, as a attitude of principled, consistent altruism."
It is also a trait or skill that can be taught and developed. The basic technique is to, "relate your own experience to that of others" "all day and every day," and to treat all human beings with "impartial benevolence," equally, and with respect — to show concern for everybody.
The practice of universal love is not a woo-woo and unattainable ideal, Armstrong stresses, but a serious and achievable undertaking. It is something an individual can do to better the world.
She offers steps individuals can employ to, "...form mental habits that are kinder, gentler, and less fearful of others," but cautions that the undertaking is a lifelong work, which requires study and daily effort, while the transformation is slow, undramatic, and incremental.
However, it is worth the effort both on a global scale and for individual peace of mind.
"...those who have persistently trained themselves in the art of compassion manifest new capacities in the human heart and mind. They discover that when they reach out consistently toward others, they are able to live with the suffering that inevitably comes their way with serenity, kindness, and creativity. They find that they have a new clarity and experience a richly intensified state of being."
The 12 steps are: Learn About Compassion; Look at Your Own World; Compassion for Yourself; Empathy; Mindfulness; Action; How Little We Know; How Should We Speak to One Another?; Concern for Everybody; Knowledge; Recognition; and Love Your Enemies.
The general premise of much of the advice is to take note when you feel deeply, linger on those feelings, and allow your self to feel and grieve with others. Another is to practice being at home with uncertainty, to be willing to have your ideas and opinions influenced by others, to engage in Socratic debate (between friends in which the purpose is to discover meaning-not argue and be right), and to be pliable not rigid or dogmatic. It's a studied cultivation of practices that cause us to be more open, connected, present with others, and selfless. Without the distorted lens of selfishness, we can see others as if in a mirror.
Pairs well with: Karen Armstong's The Case for God (in which she explains how important seeing the world as mysterious and unknowable can be to our well being and happiness); Peter Singer's The Life You Can Save: Acting Now the End World Poverty (which also argues that, "We cannot allow ourselves to be paralyzed by the immensity of global misery."); Jeremy Rifkin's The Empathic Civilization: The Race to Global Consciousness in a World in Crisis (which also argues for compassion as a solution for modern problems and makes the case that empathy can be taught); and Thomas White's In Defense of Dolphins: The New Moral Frontier (the compassionate way of seeing others as if they are yourself sounds like this book's description of dolphin social intelligence - i.e. they won't pass through a tuna net even if there is a hole large enough for an individual if there is no space for the group to escape because they have a shared, interconnected sense of self and see "themselves" as a collective).
The book also comes with a recommended reading list including: The Compassionate Mind by Paul Gilbert and works by The Dalai Lama (An Open Heart: Practicing Compassion) and Thich Nhat Hanh (The Miracle of Mindfulness).
Just as scientists search for a cure for cancer, religious thinkers have advocated for and undertaken a search for compassion.
Using examples from the major faith traditions, Armstong defines and underscores the commonality of humankind's quest for compassion. "All faiths insist that compassion is the test of true spirituality and that it brings us into relations with the transcendence we call God, Nirvana, or Dao."
To be compassionate is to treat others as you would be treated yourself and, to go a step further, to see others as if they were yourself.
"So compassion means 'to endure' [something] with another person, to feel her pain as though it were our own, and to enter generously into his point of view. That is why compassion is aptly summed up in the Golden Rule, which asks us to look into our own hearts, discover what gives us pain, and then refuse, under any circumstance whatsoever, to inflict that pain on anybody else. Compassion can be defined therefore, as a attitude of principled, consistent altruism."
It is also a trait or skill that can be taught and developed. The basic technique is to, "relate your own experience to that of others" "all day and every day," and to treat all human beings with "impartial benevolence," equally, and with respect — to show concern for everybody.
The practice of universal love is not a woo-woo and unattainable ideal, Armstrong stresses, but a serious and achievable undertaking. It is something an individual can do to better the world.
She offers steps individuals can employ to, "...form mental habits that are kinder, gentler, and less fearful of others," but cautions that the undertaking is a lifelong work, which requires study and daily effort, while the transformation is slow, undramatic, and incremental.
However, it is worth the effort both on a global scale and for individual peace of mind.
"...those who have persistently trained themselves in the art of compassion manifest new capacities in the human heart and mind. They discover that when they reach out consistently toward others, they are able to live with the suffering that inevitably comes their way with serenity, kindness, and creativity. They find that they have a new clarity and experience a richly intensified state of being."
The 12 steps are: Learn About Compassion; Look at Your Own World; Compassion for Yourself; Empathy; Mindfulness; Action; How Little We Know; How Should We Speak to One Another?; Concern for Everybody; Knowledge; Recognition; and Love Your Enemies.
The general premise of much of the advice is to take note when you feel deeply, linger on those feelings, and allow your self to feel and grieve with others. Another is to practice being at home with uncertainty, to be willing to have your ideas and opinions influenced by others, to engage in Socratic debate (between friends in which the purpose is to discover meaning-not argue and be right), and to be pliable not rigid or dogmatic. It's a studied cultivation of practices that cause us to be more open, connected, present with others, and selfless. Without the distorted lens of selfishness, we can see others as if in a mirror.
Pairs well with: Karen Armstong's The Case for God (in which she explains how important seeing the world as mysterious and unknowable can be to our well being and happiness); Peter Singer's The Life You Can Save: Acting Now the End World Poverty (which also argues that, "We cannot allow ourselves to be paralyzed by the immensity of global misery."); Jeremy Rifkin's The Empathic Civilization: The Race to Global Consciousness in a World in Crisis (which also argues for compassion as a solution for modern problems and makes the case that empathy can be taught); and Thomas White's In Defense of Dolphins: The New Moral Frontier (the compassionate way of seeing others as if they are yourself sounds like this book's description of dolphin social intelligence - i.e. they won't pass through a tuna net even if there is a hole large enough for an individual if there is no space for the group to escape because they have a shared, interconnected sense of self and see "themselves" as a collective).
The book also comes with a recommended reading list including: The Compassionate Mind by Paul Gilbert and works by The Dalai Lama (An Open Heart: Practicing Compassion) and Thich Nhat Hanh (The Miracle of Mindfulness).
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