Shel Graves' Sensorium

 This was a year of betrayal, tragedy, and shadow sides (working cooperatively vs the power of an individual).  I read some terrible books this year: I didn't bring enough books on vacation ( I hadn't been reading very quickly this year and didn't want to bring my heavy nonfiction reads on vacation). While stuck on a cruise ship, there was only one massive book in the ship's library --Never by Ken Follett. I'd heard good things about Follett, but the subject matter spies, political intrigue, and nuclear war was not my cup of tea. I finally gave in an read the thing. It moved toward its dire outcome at a fine clip. People moving toward terrible things and not able to turn away, The first time I read My Life in Middlemarch by Rebecca Mead I quite liked it. I was enchanted after reading Middlemarch and loved hearing someone who was equally interested in the book and the author. But reading it again a decade later, I was annoyed. It was too factual and held none of the ...

 In 2023 I began reading both Adam Bede (audiobook) and Daniel Deronda (kindle) by Georeg Eliot and I am just in love with this writing and storytelling. I've made a goal to finish these and also read Silas Marner and Mill on the Floss in 2024. Nonfiction:  The Cascadia Field Guide is art, poetry, and facts about the animals and plants of the Pacific Northwest. I strongly recommend this book to everyone who lives here or loves this place. It's delightful. I also loved An Immense World by Ed Yong about the senses particular to various species (and how they differ from human perspectives). Fascinating and useful. While A Dog's World by Jessica Pierce and Marc Beckoff was not my favorite read --imagining my little dogs fending for themselves in an apocalypse made for dark unpleasantness, but I did love the introduction to this genre of study and thought --speculative biology. I also read Beasts of Burden and The Good in Promises: The Harm it Does. It was a great year for nonfi...

Explain. Myself. Again. Why do I have to explain,  When my intentions are good, I explain.  No one doubts me any more, so explain.  Why you think I’m not doing my job. Explain.  In the woods, I am lost in myself.  I hold everything dear to myself.  Among mule deer, I am silent myself.  Wondering why I am unkind to myself.  Everything is softness again,  I am walking this trail yet again,  I can’t believe I am troubled again,  With the problems I solved once again.  I find myself crying again,  Unable to explain tears falling again,  Filled with regret for myself again  Falling to my knees in the forest again.  Why do I keep my pain to myself?  Wanting to expand beyond myself,  But instead tucking into myself,  Again unable to explain myself.  Even to myself, I can not explain,  How I find words to explain,  How I find images to explain,  Again, I myself, have no way to expl...

Intellect, ideas, and dreams:  love and forests  the magical place: negrita bar Mykonos taking vows, finding the sacred  When I stop and take a breath, I appreciate all of you.  She waits patiently knowing she will not be forgotten.  the lotus blossom (divine energy) in the dark well

Words of the year:  speculative biology  passerine  Salish Sea  cryptobiotic soil Strix occidentalis  compassion wisdom beautiful terrible whalefall numinous lotus

Quotes of the year:   “…each needs open space roughly the size of twenty-two football fields.”— Cascadia Field Guide  on Sitka Black-Tailed Deer   “If you find yourself standing near Lungwort, breathe deep. This is good, clean air.” — Cascadia Field Guide  “…how the deer is made from the world in which she lives, how this world is shaped by her existence within it, and how each is deeply infused with each other’s wildness.” —Richard Nelson,  Heart and Blood  “Remember the plants, trees, animal life who all have their/tribes, their families, their histories, too. Talk to them. /Listen to them. They are alive poems.” -- Remember, Joy Harjo   “Two-legged humans are not the only humans.” —Joy Harjo; the Golden Shovel poem 

Best touches of the year:  Lily’s ears,  moss kissing and kisses hugs  and vibrissae

The best sights of 2023: were trees and animals and starry nights deer and oranges and snowfall and evergreen trees and darkness. raccoons, squirrels, crows, Cooper’s Hawk  six deer in a pasture the evergreen poking out of the misty clouds on the mountaintops -what if we walked there? A quest. fields of sunflowers 

The best smells this year were: fruity: orange, apples trees: pine, forest, evergreen, cedar, spruce,  floral: cherry blossoms, rose, jasmine

The best sounds in 2023 were birdsong — caws, chirps, trills. And nature: wind and river. There was an old time fiddle and Kirtan chanting. There was Sexy French pop music And not enough: laughter.

This year I enjoyed so many fresh fruits and vegetables: oranges, snap peas, lime, onions, potato, black olives, tomato, raspberries, avocado, black beans, strawberries, mushrooms, and apples. I used a lot of basil and cumin. I enjoyed tandy and jammy flavors. I appreciated salt and water and one particularly delicious bottle of water enjoyed in Venice. From the farmer's market we had a desssert of raspberry brandy on ice cream with fresh berries, blueberries, blackberries, raspberries --perfection. It was the year of enjoying Bayside Cafe where we had the soy curl wrap often and a death by chocolate cupcake. And the stand out of the year Kir Royale in Paris.